I'm tired of overthinking stuff and longing for complicated things. Right now my wants are simple, though they're things that can hardly come easy.

I want a whirlwind romance, or at least someone to like. I want to do well in school. I want to bake and lose weight at the same time(like that's possible). I want money, though no job. I want to hang out with friends and paint for fun and get my G1.

I think most of that is attainable. Except the G1 right now thanks to the strike.

I may be fooling myself, but right now I want to think that my life is simple.

I can't take this anymore. My mother is always upset, my sister is always acting like a bitch, the two of them are constantly fighting, and I always end up in the middle of it. Otherwise I just listen while they slam doors and scream and I sit alone and cry, because this never happened before my father died.

I need to stop attracting annoying people. Two in particular. Just let me be. I'd rather I were invisible, than be with these two.

never have your dog stuffed: and other things i've learned

Imaan gave me the first of Alan Alda's autobiographies today :) She got it for only a buck.

My old (and still favourite) art teacher found me wandering the halls after school today, putting up food drive posters with Nadia and Kate. She gave me a few papers about the Marion Drysdale awards, awards for creative works by Ontario high school students. Only one entry per school is allowed and this teacher wants mine to be that one :) If by some longshot I win, I get $300. Not too shabby, eh?

Aside from homework galore, today's been an awesome day.

There's a boy in my law class that I've been friends with for a while. We talked through the York U presentation today and I remembered how awesome this kid is. At lunch Kate and I were sitting in the courtyard, as usual, when he came out in just a wifebeater to talk to us. It was freakin cold and Kate and I realized that this kid is freakin tank. The law trip on Thursday isn't looking so bad now :)

My new kid buddy in English class got stung by a bee on his lip last Thursday. I still can't figure out how. But he was absent the next day. When I got to class today he told me it was because his lip turned black and he had to see a doctor. Poor guy. But it was so cute, he was pulling on his lip and trying to explain how they had to pull out the stinger. And the whole time I'm just like "omg that must have hurt!"

And then there's the old new kid in my art class, who I was trying to befriend last year. Didn't happen, but there's always this year, eh? Last week I thought he said something about my painting as I walked by, but I was walking so quickly I didn't process it until afterwards and then I couldn't figure out if he was talking to me or not and then I felt bad. Today I was swinging my painting around, trying to keep it from whacking people in the head, and he called across the class "What values are in yours?" I couldn't figure out if he was talking to me or not, but I was the only one swinging her painting around, but again, I didn't process this until later. And if he was talking to me both of those times, now he thinks I'm a bitch. Grr.

Babble babble babble. Looks like I'll be up late tonight working on homework. Cause I've been procrastinating and watching the Empire Strikes Back.

Drama needs to stop. People need to stop with the hating. At least as publicly as they do. People need to stop sneering at people, talking as loudly as they can about others, and telling ridiculously stupid jokes about each other.

I've heard two jokes today about two people that I genuinely like. If they had heard they would have been so hurt.

People need to get a heart.

I daydream a lot. And people ask me a lot what I'm daydreaming about. I always say "nothing" because the truth is usually pretty bizarre.

Examples.

The Jonas Brothers and I are personal friends. One day they need me for something and Nick pops up at my writer's craft class door, trying to grab my attention. Of course half the class sees him, including my friend who's JoBro obsessed. I have no idea about this daydream. I don't even like the Jonas Brothers.

The previous one is often repeated, the JoBros replaced with people like the HP cast or the Skins cast.

Once I actually daydreamed about the kid that plays Chris suddenly popping up in the field I was walking across. He asked me for directions or something and Im like "Hey you're that guy!" and we somehow bond in like 3 minutes and I invite him over to Zooey's with me (thats where I was headed), he agrees, and Zooey and I become close friends with whats-his-name.

Another daydream is just old guy friends (usually older and cooler than I remember them) who are driving by and see me and theyre like "Hey!" and we rebond and go do something.

Other daydreams are about people I know. Like the cute new kid in English class. Today we were kind of matching, both wearing Yale prep-esque sweaters. This somehow led my spazzing brain to think that we would make an adorable couple. Crazy.

Those are some of my little daydreams. Others involve me doing things totally out of character, like standing up for myself in the loudest possible ways, like telling kids or teachers to 'fuck off'. Or completely disproving a teacher's theories. Or jumping out of a window and sprouting wings.

Point is, I love daydreams. They're usually crazy, but they are a ridiculously fun way to amuse oneself and pass the time.